Woman Tweets Hilarious Breakup Saga That Is Pure 90's Nostalgia

Author image for Ada Elder
Ada Elder
Aug 1, 2018 3:00 PM EDT

The 90's were something of a teen romance renaissance. From 10 Things I Hate About You to She's All That, movies really captured the wildly awkward and often mean experiences of being a confused teenager. BuzzfeedOz Editor Jenna Guillaume is no stranger to these movie experiences. In this epic and hilarious thread, the author regales us with very 90's emotional rollercoaster, complete with three-way phone calls, and, maybe more importantly, a heroic dog. 

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  • 01
    Text - Jenna Guillaume @JennaGuillaume When I was 13l experienced the most 1999 break-up imaginable. 7/31/18, 8:47 PM
    via @JennaGuillaume
  • 02
    Text - Jenna Guillaume @JennaGuillaume Context for the relationship: I wasn't that into the guy but I was really worried that I hadn't been kissed yet. But then when we started going out I didn't really want to kiss him. We just held hands at lunch time while actively trying not to talk to each other 7/31/18, 8:48 PM
    via @JennaGuillaume
  • 03
    Text - Jenna Guillaume @JennaGuillaume (By the way, we started going out after his friend, Ross, called me on the landline at home and secretly made it a three-way call so that the guy, Ryan, could listen in. Ross proceeded to be all "do you liiike Ryan"??? And I was like "uh I don't not like him I guess") 7/31/18, 8:50 PM
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  • 04
    Text - Jenna Guillaume @JennaGuillaume Anyway, l'd been "dating" Ryan for about 10 days when we collectively decided it was about time we kissed (collectively, because his mate Ross was included in all decisions. Like we kind of talked through Ross because we were too afraid to talk to each other.) 7/31/18, 8:52 PM
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  • 05
    Text - Jenna Guillaume @JennaGuillaume Imet Ryan and Ross at the beach.I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend and was keeping it a secret from my parents. So l used the cover of taking my dog for a walk. She was a large and beautiful Old English Sheepdog named Sue Sue. 7/31/18, 8:53 PM
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  • 06
    Text - Jenna Guillaume @Jenna Guillaume handed over Sue Sue's lead to Ross to take care of while Ryan and I were doing it~. Ross informed us he was going to time the whole thing on his watch. Ryan and I walked about two metres away up the sand dune from Ross and Sue Sue, for privacy. 7/31/18, 8:54 PM
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  • 07
    Text - Jenna Guillaume @JennaGuillaume Ryan proceeded to come at me with his tongue already out and kind of slobbered on my chin before finding my mouth hole. He flopped his tongue around in my mouth for like 10 seconds. I was horrified. 7/31/18, 8:57 PM
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  • 08
    Text - Jenna Guillaume @JennaGuillaume Iguess holding Sue Sue and trying to time the kiss got too much for Ross, because the dog, who had been barking this whole time, broke free and launched herself between me and Ryan Saved by the dog. 7/31/18, 9:00 PM
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  • 09
    Text - Jenna Guillaume @JennaGuillaume Itook off and avoided all contact with Ryan (even more than usual) for the next 3 days. Then I get a phone call on the landline from a payphone. It was Ross. He was with Ryan, and was calling to let me know Ryan didn't want to be my boyfriend anymore because I was frigid. 7/31/18, 9:01 PM
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  • 10
    Text - Jenna Guillaume @JennaGuillaume Because I refused to relive the horrific experience that was our first attempt at kissing, and didn't want his mouth anywhere near me ever again, I was being dumped. For some reason, this conversation went on and on and on. I didn't say much, but Ross had a lot to say guess. 7/31/18, 9:02 PM
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  • 11
    Text - Jenna Guillaume @JennaGuillaume It went on for so long that another boy from school, Stephen, wandered by the payphone they were at. After Ross told him he was on the phone to me, Stephen hopped on the phone, oblivious to what was going down. He then said,"you know, you and Ryan make such a cute couple!" 7/31/18, 9:04 PM
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  • 12
    Text - Jenna Guillaume @JennaGuillaume Ross and Ryan must have been standing nearby making desperate gestures to get Stephen to stop talking, because after about 30 seconds he realised what was going on, stumbled, and was like "oh, um, well. I guess you guys aren't together anymore." There was an awkward silence. 7/31/18, 9:05 PM
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  • 13
    Text - Jenna Guillaume @JennaGuillaume Stephen broke that silence by cheerfully saying, "well, you never know, maybe ina few years you guys will get together and fuek or something!" This was a 13-year-old boy trying to be helpful. 7/31/18, 9:06 PM
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  • 14
    Text - Jenna Guillaume @JennaGuillaume Ross got back on the phone and the conversation went on, but I really can't remember much more of it. What I DO remember, most vividly, is what came next, after I hung up the phone. It was the cordless phone, and I was on the floor in my room 7/31/18, 9:08 PM
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  • 15
    Text - Jenna Guillaume @JennaGuillaume 30 seconds later, my mum and my 7- year-old brother came into my room. They wanted to know if I was okay. Well, my mum did anyway. Because both of them had been listening in on the WHOLE CONVERSATION via the extension in another room!!!! Itell you, I wanted to die. 7/31/18, 9:10 PM
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  • 16
    Text - Jenna Guillaume @JennaGuillaume That was how my mum found out I had a boyfriend. By listening in on the conversation in which I was dumped. 7/31/18, 9:11 PM
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  • 17
    Text - Jenna Guillaume @JennaGuillaume Oh and it gets worse. Ryan then told everyone that ew, he never even liked my, anyway. He went out with me ON A BET from Ross 7/31/18, 9:12 PM
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  • 18
    Text - Jenna Guillaume @JennaGuillaume Ispent the next two years saying l'd never been kissed, because I refused to acknowledge that tongue attack as an actual kiss. And then I started dating the guy who l would later marry. Ithink Ross and Ryan are still friends. 7/31/18, 9:14 PM
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  • 19
    Text - Jenna Guillaume @JennaGuillaume PS: Here's a photo of Sue Sue, beautiful soul and saver of 13-year- old girls. Also my dad and his epic mullet
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  • 20
    Dog
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  • 21
    Facial expression - For those asking, my first kiss with my now-husband happened at the local under 18s disco. I was wearing Supré from head to toe. "Ms Jackson" by Outkast was playing. We were surrounded by friends egging us on to get it over with. It was not romantic We got better later though C
    via @JennaGuillaume

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dogs twitter teenagers nostalgia relationships 90s funny tweets breakup funny dating
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